Don’t Be That Guy at Chess

Don’t Be That Guy at Chess

Here are a couple of funny “don’t do’s” of tournament chess shared by the chess.com user linlaoda.

This is a purely comedic and not serious post that is a spinoff of “don’t be that guy at the gym” theme.

Are you committing any “chess crimes?” Let’s find out πŸ™‚

1. Don’t be that guy who stands too close to the board when observing. It’s hard to concentrate when you can feel someone breathing on you!

2. Don’t be that guy who forgot to shower… self explanatory.

3. Don’t be that guy who goes outside and talks about their game to others. I’m sure you could find something else to talk about πŸ˜‰

4. Don’t be that guy who coughs or makes loud noises – chess players like silence!

5. Don’t be that guy who hits the clock so hard that everybody in the room hears it.

6. Don’t be that guy who mumbles the chess moves he is thinking about under his breath.

7. Don’t be that guy who knocks the pieces over during the final seconds of play.

Do you have any others? Please post them!

Posted by others:

8. Don’t be the guy who gets up and leaves the playing area on his turn.

9. Don’t be that guywho falls asleep at the board.

10. Don’t be that guy who loses the game but always wins the post mortem.

 

Do you feel you have become a better chess player? Let’s test you.

White to move and win!

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Updated 01.06.2024

Comments:

pietshaq:
Actually, 1. Bb8 Qxb8 2. Bxa6+ is not mate but is winning anyway after forced 2. ... Qb7
Yury:
Hello Rose Marie Stutts! These are some great ones, indeed! Thanks for sharing. :-)
Rose Marie Stutts:
Don't be that player who critiques his/her opponent's game for him/her during or after play without being asked to do so.
Rose Marie Stutts:
Don't be that player who coughs, sneezes or wipes his/her nose with the hand used to play the chess pieces.
Rose Marie Stutts:
Don't Be The player who gives a limp 'dead fish' handshake.
nikolaus:
-Don't be that guy who refuses the "handshake"-Don't be that guy who denies the "touch-move" rule, by refusing to play the piece he previously touched-Don't be that guy who repeatedly asks for draws-Don't be that guy who leaves his pieces scattered on the chessboard after the game
Alan Matthews:
Don't be that guy who can't stop clicking a pen when writing down your moves.
Curt:
Don't be the guy who yells mate in 10 and end up losing the game in the next 8 moves.
Yury:
That's a correct solution, my friend!
Marco:
Don' t be that guy who move nervously up and down his legs making an earthquake on the table.
Bobby:
Don't be that guy who stares at boobs
Supertitiz:
Bb8 if queen takes Bxa6#if knight or other queen want moveBxa6 Qxa6 is forced Qc7#if queen goes a8 or b7 white also wins
Yury:
These are the good ones! Thanks for sharing!
Smart Guy:
Don't be that guy who cry after losing a game of chess.
jack frost:
Don't be that guy who is 1000 rated but teaches 2200 rated players how to play.
Tim Brennan:
[list][*]Don't be that guy who is constantly adjusting pieces[*]Don't be that guy who is rated 1100 but tells everyone he is really much stronger[*]Don't be that guy who eats a full meal at the board[*]Don't be that guy who shows up late to every single game[*]Don't be that guy who refuses to notate his game[*]Don't be that guy who always finds something to complain about the playing conditions[*]Don't be that guy constantly asking for a ride home[/list]